It would seem that no matter how much "training" or "experience" I have in any things, I am pretty sure I am not very good at it. It's humbling to see those who are better than you, but it is also humbling to realize that you aren't something special. For all you romantics who want to tell me, "of course you are special Gordon, everyone is special." I appreciate it, but thats silly. Only children like me growing up thinking that they are something very special. We have to use our imaginations just like any other kid, but we are often on our own with our imaginations... so when the scenario involves some kind of bad guy trying to take over the world, there is nobody around to do it, so we get to be the hero... we get to be special. We get to watch Power Rangers and imagine ourselves as their leader.... we get to watch Peter Pan and we get to be the other character that saves the day.... we get to watch Boy Meets World... and we get Tapanga in the end.
It's a daunting time in life when the only child finally realizes who exactly they are... they are just like everyone else... even LESS qualified than everyone else.... and they are NOT special. I don't say there is a MOMENT of realization, rather it happens over a period of time. It is always uncomfortable, and it is always depressing; realizing that you were never qualified to handle that sword of your imagination; you really didn't know martial arts; you never were that rock star; you don't really know what you are talking about.
This lament goes out to all the only children out there who are in the process of realization. Happy hunting to you! I encourage you to read the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible... It helps put things in perspective:
Meaningless, Meaningless, Meaningless Says the teacher... everything is meaningless... a chasing after the wind.
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