The Good Story

Do I rant too much? I think that I am using this blog to complain too much. Am I the stereotype of the rebellious emergent church? nevertheless...

Working for a church organization offers me the chance to see alot of heartache. I am often befuddled by the we as people act when confronted with a challenge or a conflict. Some of us stand up; we get aggressive and attack anyone in our path until we win or our outcome is achieved. Others of us hold up our shield and get defensive. We deflect everything until nothing could possibly touch us. Others of us run; we run away so we don't even have to deal with the challenge or conflict. I think the last one is the most common. I see myself do it all the time. When something presents itself as a challenge or a conflict, I avoid the situation... actually in my case, I avoid and work myself up about it until i am ready to BURST and THEN I get agressive.... but I digress... many just run away. Never resolving the conflict, never facing the challenge, feeling victorious in the decision to run away.

Conflict happens! Challenges come up! Heck, God is the greatest storyteller of all time. What kind of author would he be if there were no conflicts in the storyline. How could we have a happy ending if we don't have a challenge presented. How can we know what a resolution is if we don't have a conflict. My best friends and I have always developed a stronger bond when a conflict comes in and we resolve it. How can we have ANY relationships if we run away at a conflict? I am learning that if I am to live in a community, ESPECIALLY a community of believers, I have to be willing to get through conflict without just running away. I hope that I can learn how to live in community as we wrestle through conflicts and resolutions... happiness and sadness... strength and weakness. And for you I hope the same...

Change

Its funny how life is constantly in change and flux. Just when you are getting used to a situation, everything shifts again. I see this with my friends. My friend Dominick is back at school and therefore not around as much anymore. My friends back home in Virginia.... some of them have moved across the country and I may very well never see them again. My mom just moved to Ypsilanti Michigan. Things are always changing... but I am glad. I would get very bored if things stayed the same.

There is a line from a Gungor song that says: "Jesus, you're the one who saves us, constantly creates us into something new." I like being reminded of that concept. We are constantly being created into something new. While I may have been "saved" in a single moment, I continue to "work out my salvation" (Philippians 2:12) as God constantly shapes me and refines me. It is easy to think that a painful change is a bad one. But when a potter finds a flaw in the pot while it spins, he will often smash the clay down and begin again. 

So what shall I become next?... a pot?... a bowl?.... something beautiful?... something small?.... something grand?.... something useful?.... 

Let us both be encouraged that the potter is constantly creating us into something new.... and He is a darn good potter.....

I've been reading some Christian literature. Some of this literature I REALLY enjoy and I see some wonderful directions that christian philosophy is heading (or getting back to!). However, I personally have a hard time reading certain books. I am trying to read one right now... I won't say the name as I don't want to taint anyones view of it... it is a fine book. But this particular book frustrates me for one reason... it's overuse of the bible.

WHAT??!!??!! Gordon... you are NOT allowed to say that! There is no such THING as overuse of the bible. Gordon you are a heathen and will burn eternally for your careless blog!

Ok now that we God that out of the way. What I mean by overuse of the bible is not that I think that the bible shouldnt be in the book, it's just the manner in how it is used to teach. For example... it may say something like:

"The bible says in 1 John that......... and again in Deuteronomy.... ..... It also says.... ... in 2 Timothy so that means we need to pray."

Ok. Thank you Mr. Author for spouting off three unrelated verses just to say I should pray. You could give me ONE verse and then discuss it for a bit, and perhaps it would shine more light on that verse for me. But since you went all ADD with the bible, I am not sure what any of those tiny snipets of verses REALLY mean in context and how they truly relate to the issue of prayer. When I read an author who has been published and is earning a living with book royalties, I expect it to be more than just a guy who sat down at his bible and compiled his favorite verses. I am looking for someone who has spend TIME on a concept and has the God given gift of teaching and communication to express that concept in writing. Spouting off Christianeese or tallying up how many bible verses you can compile teaches me very little! Give me something to chew on! To sleep on! To live on! I don't want to be a Christian robot who reads the three random verses, reads that I need to pray, and then nod my head and say "wow this book is amazing". 

I read something in the message translation the other day. It's at the end of Collosians 3:"Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work." Christian Music, Literature, Art, Television, Movies.....Whatever it is... just because it is Christian, doesn't cover it up if it is bad work....

What the heck is a Christian?

I am having a hard time with something... as a Christian, I feel like the label of being a Christian is SO scattered across a spectrum of lifestyles, mindsets, and world-views.

There are some who call themselves Christians who spend every waking moment warning people about a coming destruction and damnation for those who don't give their lives to Jesus (and then what does it mean to give your life to Jesus?!?!). There are some who call themselves Christian who feel that Jesus is simply ONE way of religious belief... and not THE way and each person will find God on their own. There are some who call themselves Christian who think that the whole Jesus thing is more of a cultural game... you know, you mention God when you want things... you say elegant things at your wedding that involve God's love... you go to the 1-hour service every so often on a Sunday morning and sort of mumble the hymns... God and Jesus are just things that may or may not be there when you die... until they are a joke....

I have a hard time calling myself a christian when there are those who call themselves the same and behave or believe SO differently than me! I found myself asking this question when listening to sports radio today... I ask myself how does God feel about Collin Cowherd. He seems like your average guy, but doesn't seem to care much for conservative Christians or Christianity.... What does God think about him? When it's all over, what will God say about Collin? I mean, on one hand, the first group of people may tell me that I have to stop what I'm doing and send a thousand chain-letters with three or four bible snippets telling them to repent or die! The second group may quietly pray for him but really feel that he may have found his own way to God. The third wouldn't even think about this because Collin is an average Joe and is just doing what normal people do (not those crazy evangelical radicals!).

So which is it? Is it one of them? Is it all of them? Which should I believe? I suppose I can't really know... all I can do is look at Jesus and try to be like him. That may or may not mean joining the pro-life movement... that may or may not mean voting strict republican... that may or may not mean only letting my children watch Veggietales... All I can do is look at Jesus and see what he did... how he lived... what he believed. Good luck to you all (or am I supposed to say "blessings"). I hope you find out what it means to call yourself a Christian...

Back in the Studio

Today I am in the studio working on my full length album. While it is cool to say that I wrote all these songs, played them, sang them, recorded them, and mixed them myself.... it is also very lonely. I am beginning to miss collaboration. Spending an 8-hour day in the studio is not as fun as you would think! Sam Webber and Darek Cobbs laid down the drum and bass tracks LAST August (2009) and have probably forgotten all about this! It is fun to listen to the studio goofiness that was had by listening to the pre-roll and post-roll of each track. Those guys were fine studio fun! (not to mention some of the best musicians around!)
So anyways, back to work. Today is all about the electric guitar. All the acoustic guitar tracks are laid down so today is the electric. Since I am alone I am WAY over-tracking all my tunes. For my clean electric sound I am using an SM57 on my amp run through an Avalon 737 and then taking a direct feed from my Boss GT-10. For the distorted, I am losing the direct feed and doubling with a 2ft away micing with a Sen 421 (also through a 737). So 2-tracks per record... and about 5 separate records.... so the tracks are starting to add up. Anyways, wish me some studio luck. I think I have about 5 tunes to go!

Trust

I find it easy to be afraid. I find it easy NOT to trust. It is a cop-out to imagine that nobody is going to help you or that you are in this all by yourself. When we say these things, it really shows how we feel about people. It shows that we DON'T trust people and we are looking for excuses to fail. I do this all the time. Starting this business seems silly to me because I don't think I can really do it. I am starting it because I WANT to do it, but I don't honestly believe I can... That is different though, that is self-confidence. Trust is something else. Do I trust in others to come alongside me and assist? Do I believe that people WANT me to succeed? Are my friends just waiting for me to fail so they can see themselves as more successful than me?

The bigger question is whether I can trust that there is a higher power that wants what is best for me. Do I believe that God truly does want what is best? That my success is His success. Is he the kind of father that is proud when his kid succeeds? These are things that are easy to say, but rather difficult to believe... well at least for me.

To all those out there who are attempting to do something great in their life, I wish you well and blessings in your endeavors. Do not let your mind convince you that the world is out to get you. There is always someone you can trust to be there for you. And when you do feel alone, I would encourage you to try and trust God. Maybe you don't believe in God, but try and asking God to come alongside you. You may find something great can happen that you never even expected.

Truth

I never liked white pasty Jesus... you know the skinny one with milk-white skin that kinda looked like a girl? You see lots of paintings with this rendition.... call me a purist but I guess I like Jesus in his original true form. Ya know, middle-eastern, jewish, with a beard.... We know he was a carpenter so he probably had some muscle on him. I mean, I'm sure he was no Shwartzaneggar in Conan the Barbarian, but I'm sure he could lift a chunk of wood and build a chair!

It's funny how we seem to be able to manipulate Jesus to be whoever we want. We like to make up our own religion. We will find a random quote and use it back out beliefs. I don't like rich people so I will find a verse that talks about how much God hates the rich.... or I want to save the manatees so I will find the verse that supports taking care of animals.... I think speaking in tongues is the most important thing you can do, so I will find a verse to back it up.

I'm reading a book right now called "The Forgotten God" by Fransis Chan and he made a very valid point: Stop forming your belief and then searching the bible to find something to back it up.... rather, read the bible, and see what you learn. The bible is full of stories and letters and poetry all of which work together to teach us about the character of God and how He interacts with us both in the broad term and in the here and now! Just look at it.... read a CHAPTER not a verse.... better yet, read a BOOK, not a chapter. The bible is not a book filled with one liners to put on a fortune cookie. It is a compilation of authors who all wrote individual books! So read a book! Don't just pick and choose... you wouldnt do that with Hemmingway and expect to understand "A Farewell to Arms" would you? You wouldnt read the three rules for robots and expect to know all about Asimovs stories?

You can believe whatever you want to believe. This is a right given to us by (what I believe) the Creator. However, WATCH OUT. Be careful what you base your beliefs on. Your emotions? Your parents? The trends? Your culture? I ask myself this question every day... If you have closed yourself off to asking the question: "Is what I believe actual fact?" then you have let yourself be deluded by self-centeredness/fear/anger.... etc. Atheists and Theists alike. Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, New-Ageists, Spiritualists... Mormons, Watchtower, Presbyterians, Pentecostals.... all of you. Be willing to ask yourself WHY you believe what you believe.

You shoulndt have to work too hard to prove it. If God is who He says he is, (or if your belief system is accurate) then look into it, find out, because the truth will be in the open, it will be unable to hide, truth beckons you to learn and live in reality, to live in what actually is, and not in what you make up. Live in truth I pray, always seek truth, give yourself a chance at life to the fullest!

Special

It would seem that no matter how much "training" or "experience" I have in any things, I am pretty sure I am not very good at it. It's humbling to see those who are better than you, but it is also humbling to realize that you aren't something special. For all you romantics who want to tell me, "of course you are special Gordon, everyone is special." I appreciate it, but thats silly. Only children like me growing up thinking that they are something very special. We have to use our imaginations just like any other kid, but we are often on our own with our imaginations... so when the scenario involves some kind of bad guy trying to take over the world, there is nobody around to do it, so we get to be the hero... we get to be special. We get to watch Power Rangers and imagine ourselves as their leader.... we get to watch Peter Pan and we get to be the other character that saves the day.... we get to watch Boy Meets World... and we get Tapanga in the end.

It's a daunting time in life when the only child finally realizes who exactly they are... they are just like everyone else... even LESS qualified than everyone else.... and they are NOT special. I don't say there is a MOMENT of realization, rather it happens over a period of time. It is always uncomfortable, and it is always depressing; realizing that you were never qualified to handle that sword of your imagination; you really didn't know martial arts; you never were that rock star; you don't really know what you are talking about.

This lament goes out to all the only children out there who are in the process of realization. Happy hunting to you! I encourage you to read the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible... It helps put things in perspective:

Meaningless, Meaningless, Meaningless Says the teacher... everything is meaningless... a chasing after the wind.

Stupid Difference

I think it is safe to say that there is a difference between being a Christian and being a Christ follower. It's stupid that there has to be that difference, but I feel like I see it everywhere. Lets look at an example shall we? Show me a moment in Jesus life where he had everyone meet in a big conference center (aka: church building) have a band play 2-3 songs or an organist play 2-3 hymns.... put on a robe and speak for NO MORE than 20 minutes while his followers took notes and the children played their PSPs and then made sure everyone was dismissed before lunch so nobody would get angry... This seems to be what it means to be a Christian these days!

The closest I SEE that Jesus ever came to this was sitting quietly in synagogue, waiting for his turn to speak, throwing down some messianic prophecy scripture, then saying: "That guy Isaiah is talking about... thats me..." and then dropping the mic and leaving (maybe the mic thing didnt happen....) His entire life was spent meeting at peoples houses, sitting on mountainsides and dropping life bombs on people about how to live and treat each other. He went into the cities and healed, preached, and forgave.

Jesus was a revolutionary, not an organization. He did not come to establish a church organization, he came to establish a kingdom lifestyle. His goal was not that you join the political party or pay your dues to your Jesus club, he asks you rather to give up your very LIFE to the revolution. Love your neighbor as yourself, Love God first and most! Live EVERY moment with that as your primary function, whether you are a laborer, manager, student, child, parent, teacher, husband, wife, republican, democrat...... Love God, Love others.

So while you may have to go to church to be a Christian, you don't have to go to "church" to be a follower of Christ. Rather, you get to BE the church... you get to live in a community of believers where it doesnt matter if the lyrics to the song didnt change fast enough on the screen, or whether or not the person handing out the bulletins hair isnt appropriate for holy week..... All that matters is Love God, Love Others. This is the message of Jesus.

wake up

I want to wake up kicking and screaming. To know that my blood is pumping through my veins. I wanna be a high endurance body wash that radiates freshness on an unsuspecting world of sloth. Of course things don't work out the way you plan... like you have control of how each cell reacts.... like a person can embrace the decline of the human condition and task themselves to fix it. I want to sit on a street corner and play guitar for the masses... watch their pity-filled faces flick quarters at me.... smiling with their faces, and hating with their eyes. I want to eat and drink the blood of a creator who longs for more than a religion club that meets in a potpourri filled building once a week. I want to open my eyes and see for the first time, the treasure in a bird at flight; a fly on the wall; a rat in a cage. Who am I to say what is beautiful and true. All I can do is my lot, my place, my song. I can shout my opinion from a stoop in downtown kalamazoo, but it only goes as far as my checking account. I could be something... I will be something... I mean, come on, the mere fact that I am typing now says I am SOMETHING (Thanks Decartes!) But I could be something else. I could change into a lion at any time! or a kitten... or a mongoose.... or a hungarian bird of pray.... who knows! Nevertheless, the something I am becoming or am or will be is perpetually in a state of utter transition. Until the day I can ring out the sludge of the sloth within, here I sit in front of my computer writing meaningless words into the datasphere. I want to wake up kicking and screaming...